A prayer

Hey! I'm back! I'm really really sorry for not posting since last year. Hontoni gomenasai *bows*

Anyways, this post is dedicated to some people out there who may face this problem.

Just today, I've been reading a shoujo manga and I just couldn't stop reading it. The male protagonist of this story is a guy called Yano, and he has this girlfriend, Takahashi, whom he really cherishes a lot. He has to cope with a betrayal from his ex who supposedly died from an accident but Takahashi freed him from it. (Okay they have been through a lot of other things and I'm not going into details)
Somehow, I could relate to both of them in terms of betrayal of someone close, maybe because I have been through it before. But people out there, pls do not ever have the slightest thought of trying to experience it because it is really painful. And you'll cry and suffer and everything. It is so painful to the extent that I can't even describe it.

Now, he is currently (from where I stopped) studying in high school in Tokyo, which is quite far from Takahashi. His mother decided to have a divorce with her husband. And because of many circumstances, he realizes that his mother gave birth to him just for the sake of his birth father to look at her. But the mother failed. She used Yano as a kind of replacement for the guy she loved because he looks exactly like his father. And also, she is now suffering from cancer, and also depression because the wife of the guy she loved wanted Yano to be the heir of their family. (Sry if it got confusing)

So now, currently Yano is stuck with being unable to stay by Takahashi's side even though she was his only support. He had to take on many jobs to pay for his bills and he have to cope with his mother's illnesses. He is also struggling to get high marks so that he could get into the university that both him and Takahashi agreed to go to. But because of his part time jobs, he is getting a D grade.
But the worst thing is, when he decided to go to meet Takahashi for support again, his mother hanged herself and passed away.

Why am I posting this or writing this story? To be honest, I have no idea as well. I just didn't understand why a 18 year old male have to go through all of these-- by himself. I mean, everyone deserves happiness, so I just find it so sad that all the people he loved are leaving him.

I actually feel really ashamed after reading this because even though people like Yano exist in this world who doesn't complain, here I am, whining and complaining about every little small thing. But it's not that I can help it. I'm not trying to find an excuse, but really. I get scared. Recently, sometimes in school I just get so scared about some things that I have to run to the toilet so that other people would not see my tears. I just cuddle myself in there and can't stop the shivering. Every single voice I heard feels like they are mocking me, and I just can't get rid of those sounds. Why?
I'm just so scared.

But anyways, I just really wanted to pray for those people out there who are suffering like Yano. Even though I am not a Catholic nor Christian, I still want to pray for those people, to just stay strong and collapse. I sincerely hope that they can just persevere until the end. I just have this belief that if you hang to something, you'll be able to get something out of it one day. Just like how if you hang on to the end of the rainbow, one day you'll climb all the way up and experience sucess. I'm not trying to be a hypocrite here, but that is seriously just something I believe in. I am just a 15 year old girl holding on to something I truly believe in even if it was just an illusion. Call me dumb or anything, but I believe that there are people out there who feel the same way too-- deep in their hearts.
So, I hope that whoever is reading this now, would join me in this prayer, as I believe that one day, because of our prayers, someone out there could be saved by it. I sincerely hope that that would happen.

Anyways, I've got to sign off now! See you soon! (I hope hehe)
Ciao ciao! ^w^