Somehow, even though I do not know the reason why, negative feelings are coming back to me again. Telling others about me seems like freedom, but at the same time it feels painful, as something is tying me back.
When I try to tell someone about some problems, deep inside I feel really happy, but there is this other negative side in me, telling me that doing so is bad. That negative side, is telling me that I am just trying to make myself look.. vulnerable? and allowing other people to pity me. I am not sure myself, but the other small part of me is struggling, struggling to get into the light. I want the light, and I actually need that light to allow myself to keep going, but the other side of me just refuses to let me to do so.
I really really hate that side of me.
People who actually read my blog would realise that I have multiple sides to me, but it mainly just splits into 3 categories-- a side that tries to be positive, a negative side which keeps me from moving, and a side which is struggling, and wants to get help.
I know that it is impossible to get rid of any side, but I'll just try my very best to hide the negative ones.
Yes sometimes times can be hard, but I guess we just have to live with it. Like recently, I just keep having multiple emotions within me. I can feel annoyed and desperate, or happy and lonely. These multiple feelings in me.. I can't do anything about them. Sometimes, I just feel so frustrated that I can't help but cry. These emotions are killing me. These sides are killing me. The me right now is struggling in pain. But I still have to move on.
I might be in no position to say this, but I sincerely hope that people out there would just try their best to stay positive. Don't let emotions control you. Be the one who controls them. You just have to try. Like what a teacher said in school today, if you really feel like you can no longer contain your anger, just walk away to somewhere where no one can see you. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself down. If not, you could just run to the lift, and scream with all your might to let the emotions out. Try not to keep it all in because I know that it really hurts.
Here, I just want to wish those people all the best, and good luck! Believe that you can do it. If I would try, you should take that step too!
That's all for today,
Ciao ciao ^^
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