A barrier

Well... Things are much easier now.

Barriers... I guess I'm starting and trying to put them around me now.

I was just messaging with my friend, and she told me that "it's okay to rely on people once in a while". Really? Well, I can't see that. I mean. It's hard to see some people the same way after things happen.

Honestly, I feel that isolating myself is the fastest, and the less complicated way.
Well, I'm a really sensitive person, and I think of things deeper and somehow more complicated than most others, not that I really want to. So I guess, I just can't, or even have no chance of... changing my life anymore?

Barriers should be able to protect me right? From harms and stuff.

I'm scared. Really. From feeling hurt and lonely.

The only way I can think of protecting myself now is isolating myself, so that I can get used to... being alone. Like Hibari, like Alaude. The people who are strong, both on the inside and outside. Like the cloud, who drifts calmly in the skies, like how I would be amongst people.

But after long, would people view me as a cold hearted monster? That thought itself just scares me. Well, all I truly want is just to protect myself. Not be a cruel girl or anything. Really. So can I just consider myself as a Tsundere then?

If only "poof" and a barrier can appear. Then things, would be so much easier and faster. But on second thoughts, perhaps no. I believe that a barrier, which is built by my bare hands, would be stronger and firmer, and only then, I would - and could - feel safe, being protected by something made by my tears and sweat.

Something, I created by myself with my very pair of hands.

I really look forward to the day, when I can truly complete my barrier and protect myself. Then, I think I could be free.

Well, people out there who are like me, please don't give up! Remember, "a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step"! So, all the best to you!

That's all for now, Ja!!
Ciao ciao :D