Emptiness

Emptiness. I really don't like this feeling. It is a feeling when I don't feel anything- even pain. But somehow, I have no idea why, I keep having this "feeling" nowadays. It's kinda numbing me.

Whenever anything ends, I would have this feeling. Why? I have no idea. For example, when a anime ends, I would feel empty inside. Also, like when after a day I spent really happily or even when a really really nice music ends.... I feel emptiness... Why?? It's like something is lacking. What is it? Hmmmm. I can't describe it. It's like when something ends, I want it to continue, but I can't do anything.

Well, I can only think of a reason for this feeling as of now.
It's probably inability.
The inability of stopping endings.

Don't you feel very useless when you desperately pray for something, when you try with all your might, but your efforts are still is futile? Well, that's how I usually feel nowadays. I mean. I really hate emptiness, but no matter how I try, I can't get it out of my life. Be it when I'm happy, sad or even angry. It's part of my life. My... Emotions?

But I don't get it. If emptiness is considered as an emotion, why don't I feel anything? It's as if my soul left my body. It feels like only a corpse is moving about. It doesn't feel like I'm alive.

But I wonder if I can try to "forget" this... emotion by filing myself with other feelings.

By overworking myself so I don't feel anything? Would that work?
Still, at the end of the day, I'm guess I'm just escaping.

Maybe I should try to overcome this feeling. But how? What can I do when I don't feel like I'm me anymore? What can I do when it feels like I'm just a walking corpse moving about?

This is scary.

 But unfortunately, I have no one to talk to it about. Pathetic isn't it? Like I'm just living in my small little world, all alone. But still, to the people out there who are actually reading this, do you mind giving me any advice? Let me thank you in advance if there's anything you would recommend me to do.

So, if any of you out there has this feeling of emptiness in you sometimes, I apologize, because I can't really give you any good advice as of now. But still, I just wish that you can try not to be afraid of this feeling. Well I'm trying here, so you should too! Here's wishing you all the best! I believe you guys would definitely overcome this faster than me!

頑張ってます!! (it means good luck)

That's all for now!
Ciao ciao :D