Replacement. How often do you find for it in your daily life? Well, certainly for some people it's like changing clothes everyday, but for people like me, it feels like finding a needle in a haystack.
Well, it is never easy to find a replacement.
Deep in my heart, when I'm about to loose something, I would desperately do everything I can to let it stay or take as many memories of it as I could. But as for friends, it's never predictable when they would leave you. Or even worse- family.
Whenever times are too hard for certain people, they would seek for ways to break free. Suicide, replacements, changing personalities.... There are so many ways. Which of it would you choose? Think carefully.
Well for me, I'm not a person who finds replacements to cover up my true pain. Yes for that little short while it might help, but there would always still be a scar there that u can never get rid of. So is there a point? I don't see it. The only exception I give for replacements is music. Like what I said before, music helps to get rid of my fears and.... Bad emotions? Music is special. I'm sure everyone listen to music right? And for most of you who do, you listen to music at times to calm your feelings or yourself down right? It's like replacement in a way actually... No that you can thoroughly or always use music to replace your unhappiness or anger or anything though.
Anyway, do remember to think carefully when you find replacements. Yes, some might help you, or even better still, change your future into a better one, but if you choose wrongly, it would create more sorrows, bring up your old injuries, and in the worst case, destroy your future. So to people out there, do think carefully when you make replacements! I'm not referring to changing your washing machine when it spoils okay (if you're thinking it that way). I'm referring to replacements for friends and family. Those which are alive and creates a great deal of impact on you. So think carefully okay!
But well, at the end of the day it still ends up back into choices, so make your choice carefully!
Anyways gotta go!
Ciao ciao ^^
P.S. I'm on my way back from overseas now, (it was really awesome for me cuz i bought 11 boxes of anime! YATTA!! XD) so gomen if I don't make sense at some parts! The van to the airport is shaking so badly it's making me giddy D'X
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Music
Music. Isn't it a beautiful and wonderful thing? Made up of different notes, beats and genres... They all combine to become a beautiful piece.
Listening to music everyday has long ago been part of my life. Music soothes me and makes me feel better.
Depending on the type on music, everyone's emotions might differ. For example, when one is listening to a piece of music with a rocky genre, they may feel hyped up. For me, I prefer calm soothing music. It makes me feel at peace, it makes me "throw away" my other emotions so that I can feel peace.
Personally, i think music is a really blessed gift to humans. Every piece of music is different. It is special. So people shouldn't discriminate any piece of music. Because to you it may sound horrible, but to others, it may be wonderful. So don't, and never insult any piece of music.
Well, if you listen to each song or piece of music carefully, I believe that everyone can, from the bottom of their hearts, understand, enjoy or even relate to the music. Listen, enjoy and love it! I'm sure everyone out there would definitely find - or in fact already have - a music they truly love.
Don't ever forget that feeling!
That's all for now!
Ciao ciao :D
Listening to music everyday has long ago been part of my life. Music soothes me and makes me feel better.
Depending on the type on music, everyone's emotions might differ. For example, when one is listening to a piece of music with a rocky genre, they may feel hyped up. For me, I prefer calm soothing music. It makes me feel at peace, it makes me "throw away" my other emotions so that I can feel peace.
Personally, i think music is a really blessed gift to humans. Every piece of music is different. It is special. So people shouldn't discriminate any piece of music. Because to you it may sound horrible, but to others, it may be wonderful. So don't, and never insult any piece of music.
Well, if you listen to each song or piece of music carefully, I believe that everyone can, from the bottom of their hearts, understand, enjoy or even relate to the music. Listen, enjoy and love it! I'm sure everyone out there would definitely find - or in fact already have - a music they truly love.
Don't ever forget that feeling!
That's all for now!
Ciao ciao :D
Emptiness
Emptiness. I really don't like this feeling. It is a feeling when I don't feel anything- even pain. But somehow, I have no idea why, I keep having this "feeling" nowadays. It's kinda numbing me.
Whenever anything ends, I would have this feeling. Why? I have no idea. For example, when a anime ends, I would feel empty inside. Also, like when after a day I spent really happily or even when a really really nice music ends.... I feel emptiness... Why?? It's like something is lacking. What is it? Hmmmm. I can't describe it. It's like when something ends, I want it to continue, but I can't do anything.
Well, I can only think of a reason for this feeling as of now.
It's probably inability.
The inability of stopping endings.
Don't you feel very useless when you desperately pray for something, when you try with all your might, but your efforts are still is futile? Well, that's how I usually feel nowadays. I mean. I really hate emptiness, but no matter how I try, I can't get it out of my life. Be it when I'm happy, sad or even angry. It's part of my life. My... Emotions?
But I don't get it. If emptiness is considered as an emotion, why don't I feel anything? It's as if my soul left my body. It feels like only a corpse is moving about. It doesn't feel like I'm alive.
But I wonder if I can try to "forget" this... emotion by filing myself with other feelings.
By overworking myself so I don't feel anything? Would that work?
Still, at the end of the day, I'm guess I'm just escaping.
Maybe I should try to overcome this feeling. But how? What can I do when I don't feel like I'm me anymore? What can I do when it feels like I'm just a walking corpse moving about?
This is scary.
But unfortunately, I have no one to talk to it about. Pathetic isn't it? Like I'm just living in my small little world, all alone. But still, to the people out there who are actually reading this, do you mind giving me any advice? Let me thank you in advance if there's anything you would recommend me to do.
So, if any of you out there has this feeling of emptiness in you sometimes, I apologize, because I can't really give you any good advice as of now. But still, I just wish that you can try not to be afraid of this feeling. Well I'm trying here, so you should too! Here's wishing you all the best! I believe you guys would definitely overcome this faster than me!
頑張ってます!! (it means good luck)
That's all for now!
Ciao ciao :D
Whenever anything ends, I would have this feeling. Why? I have no idea. For example, when a anime ends, I would feel empty inside. Also, like when after a day I spent really happily or even when a really really nice music ends.... I feel emptiness... Why?? It's like something is lacking. What is it? Hmmmm. I can't describe it. It's like when something ends, I want it to continue, but I can't do anything.
Well, I can only think of a reason for this feeling as of now.
It's probably inability.
The inability of stopping endings.
Don't you feel very useless when you desperately pray for something, when you try with all your might, but your efforts are still is futile? Well, that's how I usually feel nowadays. I mean. I really hate emptiness, but no matter how I try, I can't get it out of my life. Be it when I'm happy, sad or even angry. It's part of my life. My... Emotions?
But I don't get it. If emptiness is considered as an emotion, why don't I feel anything? It's as if my soul left my body. It feels like only a corpse is moving about. It doesn't feel like I'm alive.
But I wonder if I can try to "forget" this... emotion by filing myself with other feelings.
By overworking myself so I don't feel anything? Would that work?
Still, at the end of the day, I'm guess I'm just escaping.
Maybe I should try to overcome this feeling. But how? What can I do when I don't feel like I'm me anymore? What can I do when it feels like I'm just a walking corpse moving about?
This is scary.
But unfortunately, I have no one to talk to it about. Pathetic isn't it? Like I'm just living in my small little world, all alone. But still, to the people out there who are actually reading this, do you mind giving me any advice? Let me thank you in advance if there's anything you would recommend me to do.
So, if any of you out there has this feeling of emptiness in you sometimes, I apologize, because I can't really give you any good advice as of now. But still, I just wish that you can try not to be afraid of this feeling. Well I'm trying here, so you should too! Here's wishing you all the best! I believe you guys would definitely overcome this faster than me!
頑張ってます!! (it means good luck)
That's all for now!
Ciao ciao :D
Saturday, 3 November 2012
A barrier
Well... Things are much easier now.
Barriers... I guess I'm starting and trying to put them around me now.
I was just messaging with my friend, and she told me that "it's okay to rely on people once in a while". Really? Well, I can't see that. I mean. It's hard to see some people the same way after things happen.
Honestly, I feel that isolating myself is the fastest, and the less complicated way.
Well, I'm a really sensitive person, and I think of things deeper and somehow more complicated than most others, not that I really want to. So I guess, I just can't, or even have no chance of... changing my life anymore?
Barriers should be able to protect me right? From harms and stuff.
I'm scared. Really. From feeling hurt and lonely.
The only way I can think of protecting myself now is isolating myself, so that I can get used to... being alone. Like Hibari, like Alaude. The people who are strong, both on the inside and outside. Like the cloud, who drifts calmly in the skies, like how I would be amongst people.
But after long, would people view me as a cold hearted monster? That thought itself just scares me. Well, all I truly want is just to protect myself. Not be a cruel girl or anything. Really. So can I just consider myself as a Tsundere then?
If only "poof" and a barrier can appear. Then things, would be so much easier and faster. But on second thoughts, perhaps no. I believe that a barrier, which is built by my bare hands, would be stronger and firmer, and only then, I would - and could - feel safe, being protected by something made by my tears and sweat.
Something, I created by myself with my very pair of hands.
I really look forward to the day, when I can truly complete my barrier and protect myself. Then, I think I could be free.
Well, people out there who are like me, please don't give up! Remember, "a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step"! So, all the best to you!
That's all for now, Ja!!
Ciao ciao :D
Barriers... I guess I'm starting and trying to put them around me now.
I was just messaging with my friend, and she told me that "it's okay to rely on people once in a while". Really? Well, I can't see that. I mean. It's hard to see some people the same way after things happen.
Honestly, I feel that isolating myself is the fastest, and the less complicated way.
Well, I'm a really sensitive person, and I think of things deeper and somehow more complicated than most others, not that I really want to. So I guess, I just can't, or even have no chance of... changing my life anymore?
Barriers should be able to protect me right? From harms and stuff.
I'm scared. Really. From feeling hurt and lonely.
The only way I can think of protecting myself now is isolating myself, so that I can get used to... being alone. Like Hibari, like Alaude. The people who are strong, both on the inside and outside. Like the cloud, who drifts calmly in the skies, like how I would be amongst people.
But after long, would people view me as a cold hearted monster? That thought itself just scares me. Well, all I truly want is just to protect myself. Not be a cruel girl or anything. Really. So can I just consider myself as a Tsundere then?
If only "poof" and a barrier can appear. Then things, would be so much easier and faster. But on second thoughts, perhaps no. I believe that a barrier, which is built by my bare hands, would be stronger and firmer, and only then, I would - and could - feel safe, being protected by something made by my tears and sweat.
Something, I created by myself with my very pair of hands.
I really look forward to the day, when I can truly complete my barrier and protect myself. Then, I think I could be free.
Well, people out there who are like me, please don't give up! Remember, "a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step"! So, all the best to you!
That's all for now, Ja!!
Ciao ciao :D
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