Growing up

Every day, every hour, every minute, and even every second, people are constantly changing, and "growing up". I don't think that anyone can fully "grow up", unless they reached the moment they are going to die.

Today, I watched another movie called The Girl in Pinafore. It was a really nice and inspirational movie to me, but the ending was so tragic. It is about a story where 2 groups of people meet and because of various reasons formed a "band". Then, the main male and female protagonist went together, and it is the same for the 6 other friends. However, because of the female protagonist's mother, she was forced to go to America and she died in the end. It was just so sad. The male protagonist cried too of course, and soon later, the group fell apart. The other couples, with the exception of 1, all broke up, and everyone went different ways.

When I watched the part where the female was announced dead, a thought just popped into my head. Would I be able to continue to live on if Hibari just "disappeared" like that one day? No I don't think so. I wouldn't be able to.
Sometimes people just ask me why am I so obsessed with him. Honestly, I can't explain. It is a feeling from deep inside my heart. Maybe that feeling was born from despair and fear, and because Hibari was the only one there for me when I felt that the whole wide world was pitch black. Hibari was the only one there who told me that it is okay and helped me calm down.

I never want the story in the movie to ever happen to me. Never. I wouldn't be able to take it. But is that what it means to grow up? To make new friends, to fall in love, and everyone leaving you at the end of the day. Is it? If that is what it means, I don't want to grow up. I'm scared. I would never be able to take in all the sadness at the end of the day.

Sometimes, I wish that time could just stop at the time you want it to be at, and I could just repeat the same cycle over and over again. Really. I don't think I would get tired of it because I think that that beats having to go through betrayal and enduring the pain of people leaving you. But every time I think of that, I would just think of how I could become an anime character in my next life. That is actually one of the point which allows me to continue "living" and "growing up".

Personally, I think that you guys out there should try this too! To think of the things you look forward to so that you can move on, and continue "growing up". I think that it would help you out some way or another.

So, that's all.
Ciao ciao!