Officially destroyed.

A lot of things happened today, and I straightened out my thoughts just now. Now, I just feel like telling her this, telling her, that I will do what she wishes, which is to completely destroy our friendship, officially and forever.


To: cherry tomatoes (this is just a term to represent her name)

After today, I really straightened out my thoughts, and I would really try to auto-delete our happy moments once and for all.... You might say that it is impossible, but I am telling the truth. I will, and i would try with all my might to do so.
Do u know how painful it is to see someone whom u've been through with everything to treat u like invisible?
Do u the pain, that I've been through all these time?
Do u have any idea, that when after u cried in the bus that particular day, I've been crying every week, almost 5 days each week after u because of that?

I tried. I gave in all my best to try to get back this friendship. Really. I have to act tough infront of so many ppl u know, pretending that I'm all right. When I'm laughing with others, I would look towards u sometimes to see ur reaction. U didn't seem to bother. Why? Have u forgotten what we have been through? 1 and a half years.... I know u have tolerated my horrible personality... I have too sometimes u know.... It seems like we fight very often, but it made us closer did it? Well, that was why I thought.

I really tried to hate u u know.... I wanted to so I can pull myself out of all these scary feelings.... But I couldn't.... I am just like a kid lost in the forest, crying and not knowing what to do... Do u even know that I even thought of attempting suicide? I bet u think that I'm talking nonsense. If r and w (2 other close friends of ours last year) made me cry like no tmr last year during my birthday, and u can make me feel like dying this year, crying to death on ur birthday, doesn't this show how much I treasure u as a friend?
Haha I can't believe I'm crying again. I'm such a coward, a weakling, or even worse than a dog. I really wish u can see all these, but it's impossible haha. U would just laugh at this and say I'm stupid and everything. But I really, really from the bottom of my heart, want to tell u this-- I had never, never regretted making u as my best friend even after all these. Really, I have never regretted it at all.
I know u want to tell me to stop being irritating and acting childish, but I can't help it... Can u teach me how to stop?

I saw the pictures on instagram just now, when u went to ice skating... Glad u had fun ^^ but I couldn't be part of it anymore.... It's okay I guess.... I have no idea why, but when i saw the pictures, something my heart shattered. I couldn't be thr anymore. Lol do u know that when u guys were having fun, I was having cca and having blood test in the polyclinic? But I bet u wouldn't really care.... Moreover if I had went to the party, I might have destroyed all of ur moods so... ^^''

Anyways, I don't have the courage to sent u a msg to give u a birthday wish. But here, I want to wish u all the best in ur future, sry for being such a failed friend and most importantly,

Happy Birthday.（＾◇＾）
I never forgotten, that it was ur birthday today. It's the same day as zelo's birthday also what ^^

That's all, goodbye forever to our friendship I guess....

From: Me.